Myth #1. I may be a little out of shape but I’m not “that” out of shape.
Fact: Yup, you are…..you really, really are. Not a little, but a lot says the muffin top and the back fat staring you down in the mirror.
My subconscious thoughts as I gaze at the person looking in the mirror and realize its me: WTF?!?!?!?
Myth #2. I can totally, TOTALLY run a mile under 10 minutes.
Fact: Nope. I can barely jog half a mile under 10 minutes.
My subconscious thoughts as I attempt to run: This is bullshit, I never liked running. And damn!
Myth#3. I’ll start eating healthier on Monday.
Fact: Monday arrives and I’m on my 6th chocolate chip cookie and a side of ice cream.
My subconscious thoughts with each bite: Shit!! Oh well, tomorrows another day and OMG this is soooooooo gooooood!
Myth#4. It wont take me long to loose 5 pounds.
Fact: It’s been 3 months and I’m up 7.
My subconscious thoughts as I step on the scale (which is not something I do……ever): Holy fuck! (sigh)
Myth #5. I don’t look my age.
Fact: As I smile, out jump a set of crows feet, a handful of deep lines on my forehead and around my mouth that look like a damn road map! In other words my face clearly says, “approaching senior citizenship.”
My subconscious thoughts as I reflect on the most recent selfie: Who is this women? Suddenly I hear The lyrics of Rod Stewart’s “Maggie May,” “The morning sun when its in your face really shows your age.”
Sunshine or no sunshine, I’m no spring chicken! DANG!!
Sometimes reality can be a bitch!
“The lies we tell ourselves to survive seldom bring peace to our souls” author unknown
It’s time to enjoy the ride into my late 40’s and quickly approaching 50! Screw it!
Hope you all enjoyed my funny little myths!
Live, love, honor and laugh out loud! Prioritize you.