You have it all! A great job, money in the bank, wife or husband that loves you, supportive friends and family, you’re relativity healthy, plenty of awesome opportunity heading your way…… What could possibly make you unhappy? Life is sooooooooooo good, you’re miserable. Could it be that you’re happy and you don’t even know it? What a crazy thought, right? Well, not really. Some people do have this problem. Call it depression, call it selfish, call it boredom, call it whatever you want but it’s a real problem that people actually experience! I know it sounds crazy but it’s a real thing! I witnessed this first hand during a conversation with someone, who will obviously remain nameless, and I couldn’t stop my immediate facial expression which was that of ” WTF”? Forgive my expression, however it was the look that I must of had on my face when listening to this person speak of how awesome there life is, yet the tone that which they spoke in was as if they were on there way to the death chamber. I even asked why the sad tone in there voice when communicating what a  wonderful life they live in which they were truly admitting to. The response I get was a simple, “I don’t know why”. I said to myself, “Really”? Although my look was a look of “WTF”? I couldn’t stop myself from asking this next question which was, “Do you think you would be better off poor, no family, no spouse, no friends and in bad health”? Yes I know, a silly question. So I asked in another way, “Do you think you would recognize what happiness was if you lost everything”?

Sometimes you have to loose it all to appreciate what you have. When you feel sad and or lonely, generally those feelings that come with loss are not “happy” feelings. My thoughts were that, maybe they have had things handed to them, and life has been so easy that actual “work” is something that humans need to feel good, or even “happy”.  Hard work never killed anyone and it generally makes a person proud to provide for themselves and family. That is a part of being happy. Could it be that some people have it “made” that they don’t know how to grasp the joy of what happiness is? Maybe having to much of a good thing isn’t so good after all. And maybe we do need to experience loss in order to understand the true value in life, love, and whatever the hell it is we need to learn in this life to move forward. Each of us have a journey to travel, and some people cant figure out how to embrace the path there on. Some are destined to repeat the same ole road, and it isn’t till they begin to have deja vu or flash backs in order to break the chain of constant repeating an old habit. A habit that’s not so good for there mind/body/spirit! A lesson I’ve learned (finally)!

This amazing person I speak about has the life of a celebrity without the popularity, which in my opinion is awesome! So now what? Well, I was very upfront and honest (what do I have to loose?) with this person. So here is what I said;

Give your time to someone who is less fortunate then you are. After you have spent time with someone less fortunate, write down how that experience made you feel during and after. Read what you wrote out loud to yourself. Save your letter, your thoughts on paper and put it in a place where you”ll remember. When you’re feeling like your unhappy, or miserable, reread your letter and your thoughts about the less fortunate person you once visited. Perhaps visit that same person or dedicate your time to volunteer. If this doesn’t help you put life in perspective then I’m not sure what to tell you. One thing you can be sure of is that, I’ll be here if you need me to listen”.

That is the advice I gave! Guess what happened? They realized that they didn’t know how to be happy. The time they committed to the less fortunate was an eye opener in respect to how fortunate they really are in all things, however going back to the same daily routine was numbing. Nothing seemed to brighten there day, and although good health and fortune was and still present, it didn’t matter. They had nothing they could look forward to that brought a sense of joy.

How sad and unfortunate. The mind that dwells within the very being of that person was ultimately destroying the will or “know how” of feeling or emotion that relates to happiness. My added advice was perhaps do something new or adventurous, try something you have never thought of trying before. The very act of trying new things (as well as the act of giving in my opinion), can be exhilarating and maybe “happiness” will find your soul 🙂

In reflecting on that conversation I had with that person, I am reminded of where I am in my  life.  I am happy to recognize that I already have what I want! I don’t have everything, but I do have what I want. I am honest with myself in that I need to set new goals once old ones are met.  I love to learn, although my learning curve is not traditional, I look for ways to educate myself.  I long to understand all things, especially people. This makes me happy (Yes, there are other things that contribute to my happiness but you get my point)! Mostly, I’m glad that I don’t have everything, because I wouldn’t know to shoot for the stars if I did. Shooting for the stars is something to look forward to!

About Cassandra Pavolic

As a retired performer for 25 years transitioning careers has been difficult. I truly enjoyed my career as an aerialist performer. I was fortunate enough to see the world, traveled many places and met people from all cultures. I learned a tremendous amount about life and people during my years traveling than I would in a school setting. The one thing I took away from being on the road is that no matter what ethnic background you are, we are all so similar. A smile is a smile in every language (happiness or contentment). Expressions of all emotions have the same meaning around the world. For this reason we are similar, and I somehow find that comforting. I'm now 50! It's hard to believe I'm fifty already! I reflect on my accomplishments as well as my failures up to date. Both are irrelevant to what I value most. I value people and relationships. I value my deity, it is the number one thing that keeps me stable. Being true to myself is a portion of my "food" in regards to my decision making. When I steer away from being my true self I am disappointed. Exercise, taking walks, and being still are another source of "food" in my life. I like to be still, listen and observe all things. I have been this type of person since a young child. Perhaps one of the reasons why I take an interest in Personality Psychology and my recent studies human behavior. I hold an Associates degree in Music/Theater/Dance from Dean College in MA. I quickly realized I wanted to perform, therefore my journey began immediately after graduating from Dean. I have been a Licensed Massage Therapist, as well as a Certified Personal Trainer. I am curious, I am persistent and I am passionate. I'm on a mission to be a better person, to help those who want to help themselves, and to share my thoughts, opinions, experiences to anyone who gives a damn. All in hoping that what I have to offer will change lives as you learn to keep your priorities in order. And so I started prioritize you.
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