Have you ever been someones “last minute” consideration? You immediately know your true value in that persons life when this happens. This doesn’t feel good to say the least. Especially if that someone is a family member that chooses “you” as an after thought. You begin to recognize that there words have no meaning simply because what they said, or action was not heartfelt. To them it’s “just because”, or they feel it’s the “right thing” to do. However, your aware that there gesture is not so pure because there words are empty, meaningless. Disappointing when this happens isn’t it? What do you do? If given an opportunity, at the appropriate time mention how there attempt to fix things or “save face”, was unacceptable. It lacked sincerity. Don’t be afraid to discuss the issue if it means that much to you. One of the most insincere, disingenuous, “just because”, what might have been the “right thing” to do, I received was through a text message. My exact thought was “Wow”! I had no words. Nothing in me moved me to reply, so I moved on. It wasn’t worth my time or energy to question. Sometimes we need to do this for ourselves to seek clarity. I reflect and accept what is, acknowledging that the future is full of surprises. Anything can happen at anytime. This is true in all things! If you find yourself on the receiving end of the “saving face” encounter, be still. Whatever you do don’t respond immediately. Think about why, and if you’re a contributor to the “lack of heart” comment or action. Unable to communicate effectively is usually the issue. If you, or someone that you’re not on good terms with, is unable to express what they really want to get across may possibly be saying it between the lines. Some people use a little sarcasm, or a simple beating around the bush, hoping that you wont notice what everyone else does! That’s a coward in my opinion. Not worth my time in addressing, at least not on impulse. But that’s just me. I like to take my time and think about things before I act…….. well, usually 🙂 I never said I was perfect.
Honestly, to truly get passed an issue like this it obviously depends on what your relationship is with the person involved. Also, ask yourself some very important questions:
1) Is this person worth the time and energy to confront your opinions and dissatisfaction with there behavior?
2) Has there been some sort of rift between the two of you for whatever reason?
3) Are you able to have a calm, productive conversation without making assumptions, accusations and listen with an open mind?
“Saving face” may be a small insult but it has potential to become a bigger issue if not addressed. Never just sweep things “under the rug” and hope that in time it will go away. Eventually the dirt that your hiding begins to sneak out around the edges and the real issue (truth) is revealed.
Prioritize your thoughts, prioritize your actions, PRIORITIZE YOU.