Under The Surface

We are soooooo bombarded on a daily basis with social media with who’s who and what there doing, but mostly showing off what they have than the person inside. I ask myself this question, “Is this who they really are?” Does this person REALLY look like this and do they really take THAT many vacations a year? If so, whats the motive? What do these people do to live the life of a celebrity yet not be one. And why on earth would anyone want to broadcast how much $$$ there making? Seriously why? That to me is like when someone miraculously hits the lottery and tells the world they are beyond rich, which just means they have f-you money and all the relatives they didn’t know they had are now knocking.

I’m not hating on those who are more fortunate than I, I’m just curious to know there “Why?” I’m also the kind of soul that finds myself searching for what truth lies beneath the surface. I’m interested in people. I like building relationships from the “core” and not from the surface. Social media can be dangerous but it can very well be a blessing to many. Especially those who desperately feel alone and need a “like” to lift them up. Sometimes that can make a huge difference in someones day! That’s awesome because I do like those likes! Comments are special too 🙂

I understand being a little weary of letting it all out there, the real you, not just the “show” you. I think it’s important to remember that what we see is not always what “is.” What we communicate online, as we all know from catfish, is not always the real deal. Lies are way to easy to make than “real” friends on social media. Now I’m NOT saying that it’s impossible to make a real friend from Instagram, Facebook, twitter. What I am saying is IF your anything like me, real friends are the ones that you meet out. Like in real life, in person. You know, when you actually communicate with your voice and not your fingers on a phone or laptop. I like those kinds of people who take time to meet up  and have a real authentic conversation in person. That beats a “like” on social media any day.

AGAIN, I’m not knocking social media, I have instagram and facebook like most of the world (honestly its not easy for me). I just realize as I age I crave more under the surface, authentic, relationships. That’s all I’m saying.

By the way, If your on Instagram look me up (cassandrapavolic), I promise I keep it real!

“The privilege of a lifetime is to become who you truly are.” C. G. Jung

“Highly sensitive people are too often perceived as weaklings or damaged goods. To feel intensely is not a symptom of weakness, it is the trademark of the truly alive and compassionate. It is not the empath who is broken, it is society that has become dysfunctional and emotionally disabled. There is no shame in expressing your authentic feelings. Those who are at times described as being a ‘hot mess’ or having ‘too many issues’ are the very fabric of what keeps the dream alive for a more caring, humane world. Never be ashamed to let your tears shine a light in this world.” ― Anthon St. Maarten
“Because true belonging only happens when we present our authentic, imperfect selves to the world, our sense of belonging can never be greater than our level of self-acceptance.”
Brené Brown, Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead
Live, love, honor and laugh out loud! Prioritize you.
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Risking It All

Have you or anyone you know come to that fork in the road where a major decision needs to be made? A change your life decision, a make it or break it decision, an “I’m about to Jump into the unknown that could potentially jack me up” type of decision?

I’ll admit I’ve made some bad choices for myself, MANY times that I wish I can say I learned from. The honest truth is, I’ve had to circle around the same BS way more than I expected before I got kicked in the ass enough to wake the hell up. I’m stubborn and persistent which in some cases served me well, but in those all to often circumstances It has lead me down a path of no return. Traumatized! No I’m not being dramatic, I’m just being me. My sensitive self who loves to love, loves to laugh and loves life. This is me.

I have always lived day to day. What will be will be. Never thinking about the consequences or the outcome of what could “possibly” be disastrous. I’m not sure why I’m this way, I just am. At fifty you would think I’d change my thought process a little. Think more about the future and be conservative in my spending. Yet still I dream and live life as a box of chocolates not knowing when I’ll take a bite out of gold or a bite into the blues. Either way, both are inevitable. All a matter of perspective, timing and where I am in my head.

So here I am again, about to jump, risk everything, head into the wonderful world of uncertainty.

If you ever find yourself where the road you’re on meets that fork, listen to your gut. Maybe it’s time to go for it. Whatever it is! Just maybe this is your moment to change the course of your direction.

“When it comes to the fork in the road, take it.” Yogi Berra

” Every major difficulty you face in life is a fork in the road. You choose which track you will head down, toward breakdown or breakthrough.” John C. Maxwell

Live, Love, Honor and Laugh Out Loud! Prioritize you.

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I Did It!!

I finally did it! I did something that was TOTALLY out of my comfort zone and it was AWESOME. I finally stepped out in courage and told my story…… on stage…… in front of a live audience……. and they actually liked me (standing ovulation, ha!)!!

I have always been afraid of public speaking more than my fear of heights (yes it’s true, and yes I was an aerialist)! I can relate to those who fear public speaking more than death itself.

However, It truly was an amazing feeling to accomplish something that I have been so fearful of for a VERY LONG TIME. This was one of my goals!

In fact, I’m looking forward in doing more speaking engagements….. if possible. The more you practice, the better you become. This is a mantra I’m clearly aware of as my past career was much about practice, practice, practice, and than practice some more. It’s not always fun but it is always necessary.

After my speech, I walked off stage relieved and thought, “I think I might actually like this.” I may just miss the stage…….. but I truly think I just wanted to be heard. I wanted a “voice.”  I’m no different than anyone else in the world. If you draw a breath you want to be heard, valued and respected like any other human being with a heartbeat. It was truly a life changing moment for me. I learned a little more about myself which is a good thing! What did I learn? That I can, I will, and I must (I did learn more but I’ll leave that to myself)!

I also met some fascinating people throughout the evening. I was surrounded by a Neurosurgeon, Attorneys, Doctors, Olympic Medalist just to name a few…… and I had the pleasure to speaking and meeting all of them. It was a blessing and an honor.

What’s next for me? That’s a very good question, but I’m working on that. Hopefully next time I’ll have someone I can personally share the experience with. If not, que  sera sera… (violin playing).

“Every accomplishment starts with a decision to try.” John F Kennedy

“Discipline is the bridge between goals and accomplishment.” Jim Rohn

“When your dreams include service to others- accomplishing something that contributes to others- it also accelerates the accomplishments of that goal. People want to be part of something that contributes and makes a difference.” Jack Canfield.

Live, Love, Honor, and Laugh Out Loud! Prioritize You!

 

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Do You Know This Person?

A person with the paranormal ability to apprehend the mental or emotional state of another individual. In other words…. to feel deeply. The capacity to place oneself in anothers position. Usually considered Highly Sensitive, or often told they are to sensitive and need to “toughen up.” They absorb other peoples emotions and are highly attunes to anothers moods, good and bad. They have a love of nature and quit environments. They desire to help other people. They have a need for alone time. They are sensitive to sound,light, smell, and aversion to large groups. It usually takes Highly Sensitive people longer to calm down after a busy day. They are typically introverts but not all are. It’s not unusual that they gravitate to the arts and tend to be very creative. These people  can be Empaths and Highly Sensitive People. In all, HSP’s and Empaths are fairly simple human beings (well sort of). They are a rarity in today’s world and aren’t valued as they should be. Both empaths and HSP’s have a difficult time dealing with emotions, and having a highly sensitive nature does not make them a saint.

Do you know this person? I do!

Now……… Do you know THIS PERSON?

A person who has to be in control of everything and everyone around them. This person does NOT value other peoples feelings or opinions. They view kindness as a weakness, and sympathy as a waste of time. They think the rules don’t apply to them, because they KNOW better. They don’t really care about other people unless they can do something for them ( example: Whats in it for me?). They always have to have the upper hand in a relationship. They are condescending and critical of everyone around them. They lie about everything to manipulate there circumstances. They believe they can do NO wrong. They hold grudges and like to get revenge. They feel empty inside and seek other peoples energy to sustain them. They are very judgemental of others. They look for leverage on people, so they can use it to get ahead, exploit them for there own gain. They don’t really believe in anything. They wear a mask to mirror the feelings and characteristics of other people around them. But then discard that mask and the person they wore it for, whenever they find someone better. They bully people and make fun of others to amuse themselves. They are passive-aggressive. They care more about there reputation and like controlling the narrative. They would lie to protect themselves. They “gaslight” and twist things in conversation just to throw the other off track to benefit themselves. They CONSTANTLY blame the other person for things (Just one example: if they”re feeling bad, it’s the other persons fault). They drain YOU. They are charming, and charismatic when out in groups or around others. They know how to “sell” themselves but behind closed doors and the night ended…… the personality changed. And they ALWAYS bring up the past when in a relationship.

Now I ask you….. Do you know THIS PERSON I just described above?

I DO!

But do you know the personality of that person I described? Yes, I’m sure you do. A NARC. Now there are different types of NARCS, and one in particular that is REALLY dangerous is the “covert NARC.” I know this person very well…… sadly.

Why do Empaths and HSP’s attract NARCs and vice-versa? Hmmmmm? I know!

Emapths are motivated by an intrinsic need to help and heal humanity. Narcissist are motivated by their own self-interest and ego-driven desires. What they have in common is their high emotional intelligence. NARCS are high in intellect and are cognitively  intelligent. They recognize and perceive how another person thinks. Empaths are high in emotional or effective empathy, they emotionally respond to how another  person thinks and feels. Empaths and NARCS are toxically attracted because they mirror each others shadow sides. They unconsciously project their deepest fears onto another. Emapths struggle with fear of rejection, abandonment and loss, while narcissist struggle with fears of emotional engulfment, and vulnerability.

Immature empaths enter these relationships because they do not yet understand how to fully use their gift of empathy. They believe that loving others is the solution, without cultivating any self-love themselves. They lack boundaries, and unconsciously look upon the narcissist to set these boundaries for them. Narcissists live out the intensity of their deep feelings through empaths. Empaths must learn to become emotionally independent by objectively detaching themselves from their emotions before they can have healthy relationships.

Narcissists are not born but are made out of difficult circumstances, such that they loose touch with their true nature, condemning their own empathy as a weak inconvenience, which must be controlled. They must learn to become emotionally responsible by allowing themselves to feel their emotions, before they can have healthy relationships.

The key to healing is to move into a place of self-awareness and self-management, rather than blaming each other. Mindfulness and acceptance of one’s own dark side, is what will transmute these negative emotions into positive ones.

My personal thoughts… I believe both personalities are “hurting” and insecure somewhere, somehow and for some damn reason….. But we all want to be loved, respected, appreciated and NEVER be taken advantage of. Life is a journey. I’m still a working progress and I thank God that he hasn’t given up on me. I am truly blessed.

** References: Nikita Mor, Thought Catalog; Business Insider, Judith Orloff MD, Diary Of Psychology Today. **

“As you remove toxic people from your life, you free up space and emotional energy for positive, healthy relationships.” John Mark Green.

“A healthy relationship doesn’t drag you down. It inspires you to be better.” Diary of Psychology.

Live, love, honor and laugh out loud! Prioritize you!

 

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Location, Location, Location!

I have heard this on numerous occasions especially when looking for a piece of Real Estate. This rings true with investments, as well as a place where you’ll hang your hat for the rest of your life. I’m at that point now. The rest of my life, and where I want to die. Sounds dramatic but it’s real, and it’s inevitable. It’s like getting your will done. No one likes to do it but it should be done because……. God only knows when our time is up! Just saying, some things need to take priority especially when your fifty. HA!

So, I love, love, love Nashville, Tennessee, particularly Franklin, TN. I’m not sure why exactly. I  have always like the vibe in Franklin. I took my kids there 11 years ago and loved it. Still love it as I visited this past summer. However, It also gets cold there. Maybe not AS COLD as where I’m from, but still pretty cold. Seriously, cold is cold I don’t care where it is. If the temp is below 55 degrees it’s bloody cold to me (No I’m not English, I just didn’t want to drop the “f” word). So this means, I need to either make A LOT of money so I can go wherever I want for the winter months or I head back West. I have a plan I’ll keep to myself for now 🙂

So as I make plans, this means I move ONCE AGAIN! For crying out loud this has to be my last move. It gets harder as we age. LOL

It’s not an easy decision as I also enjoy the seasons the East Coast offers but most important, my only son is not planning on moving any time soon…. So that’s a downer. My daughter on the West Coast and my son on the East Coast, I’m in bit of a conundrum.

Good news is I can pretty much go anywhere because it’s not like I have to be here for a job. My job is pretty much home based. I do get out to teach Stretch & Core at a few locations which I love! The people who come to my class are awesome and if or when I move, they will be missed 😦

So, I have decisions to make and sooner than later!

“A good decision is based on knowledge and not on numbers.” Plato

”When you need to make a hard decision flip a coin. Why?  Because when that coin is in the air you suddenly know what your hoping for.”

Live, Love, Honor and Laugh Out Loud! Prioritize You

 

 

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Belief, Hope,Love & Lack of.

I thought I would touch base on the state of our union and as usual, just my simple thoughts.

It seems as though the majority of people on this earth are more discouraged than ever. Turn on the news and it’s almost never good. Between mass shootings, greed and political craziness (on both parties), have left most of us feeling hopeless, and wondering if there is a God. It does make me wonder, “Whats going on?” Just when I think nothing more can surprise me, I am surprised.

Social media has influenced our daily lives on some level. Good and bad. The disconnect between actual face to face communication has been replaced with google, Instagram, Facebook, dating sites and the list goes on. The drive to work till the sun goes down replaces family and relationships. Sooner than later most ask, “What family? What relationship?” Some have no choice… but do they? One just has to “choose” to give up something (sacrifice) for a life of fulfillment. Most end up finding that money is not always the answer and usually you loose something along the way. Infidelity is on the rise, lack of respect for humanity is the norm, it’s no wonder we are more disconnected than ever before. I believe if something is important to you, you will make that something a priority, no matter what it is or WHO it is!  If it’s not a priority, it’s not important. That simple.

People of all ages are dealing with depression and anxiety. Why do you think that is? Is it the current events? The addiction to social media? Reality shows that don’t seem to much like “reality?”

I ask, where is the hope? What do you believe? Do “YOU” know what love is?

I “think” and this is just me but I cant stop wondering if it’s just a “lack of” hope, faith, & love in the absence of human connection. When was the last time you got a hug, gave a hug, or made time to connect with another soul face to face? There are plenty of cyber hugs being sent out but come on….. really? Clearly those do nothing to feed our soul. We are desperate to connect and feel genuine love. When was the last time you felt that? When was the last time you gave it?

Some scream for attention in many ways and the internet is just one of them. What is it? Why can’t we slow down to notice a child in despair, or a partner in need of more than just financial security but respect, words of encouragement and quality time? So many are to deep in there own personal chaos they don’t even notice their in the depths of hell, emotionally, physically and mentally. And of course, one human soul can have a great affect on another. Personally, I find that everyone suffers.

So I guess this is yet another message of prioritizing you. For your health, mental, physical and emotional. We can’t expect someone else to do it for us. We are responsible for our own happiness. Happy mind, happy body, happy soul, happy everybody. Happy happy happy!

Now go out and make someones day! Give a hug, spend a little time with someone you care about and   D E C O M P R E S S!!

“A mind is like a parachute. It doesn’t work if it isn’t open.” Frank Zappa

“Our lives are shaped by those who love us and those who refuse to love us.” John Powell

Live, Love, Honor and laugh out loud! Prioritize you.

 

 

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Persistence & Patience

This afternoon I was heading out for a walk, as I like to do as much as possible…… walking out in fresh air gets my creative brain working! As I enjoy this, what is suppose to be winter at 60 degrees (believe me I’m not complaining!), I began to think of my desire for immediate results. I put in the hard work, I get out of my comfort zone and take risks, I work towards my goals daily, I make a plan and am consistent, disciplined, and PERSISTENT, yet It hit me that I lack patience. This is the missing link in my daily life thoughts.  I must practice PATIENCE with all of the above. I began to realize also that because I lacked the patience it takes to reach that goal, negative thoughts came trickling in. We all tend to get a little discouraged when we hit a road block or we may even feel a little beat up by our consistent hard work and no immediate results. But than I remembered that Nothing good ever happens overnight. There is no such thing as overnight success. I must keep on keeping on, till I get to where I want to be. Staying persistent is important but being patient is just as important. Patience is worth practicing!

“Have patience with all things, but first of all with yourself.” St Francis De  Sales

“Patience is bitter but its fruit is sweet.” Aristotle

“Patience is not the ability to wait. Waiting is a fact of life. Patience is the ability to keep a good attitude while waiting.” Joyce Meyers

Live, Love, Honor, and Laugh Out Loud! Prioritize You.

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